I have always been a visual learner. I learn how to do things by someone showing me how to do it. That goes with education and everyday skills to take care of my household. Coming from a family in which my father and mother were divorced, I was searching for good examples of a successful marriage when I got married. I had a heart’s desire to be a Holy woman in an honorable marriage but I didn’t know how to handle myself sometimes. I was looking for an example to help me with those tough marriage situations and questions that no one seemed to want to answer. Most of the women I considered friends and respected as “Holy” Women were either my age or younger and not married, newly married learning like I was, or just seemed too busy to get a hold to and talk with. I started to really look at women and search for an example to follow.
Even though I was deeply rooted in the Christian church, I knew there was something wrong with the marriages I saw. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I just knew I didn’t want to be the type of wife I saw in the women I had regular interaction with in my church. From my “1st Lady” who put up quite a show but there was no genuine authenticity in her actions, to other women that seemed to want to much control while their husbands just gave in to their demands to keep peace. I know I didn’t have that type of husband so that was not going to work in my household. He was going to let his demands be known and I was going to have t learn to deal with it. So I began to pray and read my word for help. I read about these women that were servants in the word. Ruth served Naomi which is what lead her to be noticed by Boaz. Even as she went in unto him, she humbled herself at his feet and became his queen. Esther came humbly to the throne of her husband and tactfully presented her case for her people at the right time in the company of the right people. The Proverbs 31 woman was truly a servant and because of it was praised. Opened her mouth only with wisdom and kindness. Dorcas was such a servant to the people that when she died, they mourned over her so deeply that they sent for Peter to come and bring her back and he did (Acts 9:36-42). These women were servants, but I was still unable to relate that to my marriage in the Christian mind set that I had. I felt so alone and in need of an example or mentor that I beseeched my husband about it and started my own girls group to mentor because I didn’t want any young lady to feel like I felt. My husband told me to pray and ask the Most High for someone, so I did.
At the time, I reached out to many women who I saw as “leaders” in the ministry or Holiness but I just couldn’t get into contact with them. Now I understand why. Shortly after this prayer for guidance, we came into the faith. My eyes were then opened to what was right in my face the entire time. Become a servant to my husband. If my focus was on serving him and all his needs, then he would meet my needs, but I had to change my thinking from the selfishness that was overtaking my thoughts and controlling my actions to selflessness in catering to my family’s needs. As a servant to the Most High, He lets us know that He will supply all of our needs and above our needs according to His riches and glory (Philippians 4:19), which we know are great because the Earth is Yah’s and the fullness thereof, all we have to do is follow His commandments and be a servant for Him. Now if the natural marriage is a representation of the spiritual marriage we have as the church, the bride, to the Most High, the bridegroom, then as I submit to my husband in everything as to Christ and reverence him (Ephesians 5:22-24 & 33) I am meeting the conditions of Yah and He will bless me in my obedience. The love my husband is commanded to give to me will grow as he sees my desire to please him and in turn his desire grows to please me. We are creatures made in the Image and likeness of Yah so as the Most High loves our desire to serve him, praise him, worship him, and reverence him in everything we do, He blesses us with the desires of our heart, blesses the work of our hands, and rains prosperity down on us spiritually and physically. I saw this example lived right in front of me through the ladies at Straitway. These ladies desired to serve. They were servants to their husbands, to each other, to sisters and brothers visiting from all around the world, and anything that would help the work of the kingdom. Their excellent spirits radiated and made them beautiful examples that any woman seeking holiness could follow. Just through watching them I learned, how to carry myself, how to guide my household and how to be proud to be a servant. The world will make you think you are inferior in the role of a servant, especially as a woman, but that is all that Yah wants you to be. Yah answered my prayers. He gave me my examples and I strive daily to live in that way and let my light shine, that others may see my good works and glorify my Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16). That one day someone may be able to say that about me. I hope you are striving to do the same. As my husband says, Living Like He’s Coming… Shalom.